대화하는 법

From Quora Digest

 

*How can I get better at small talk?

1. Don’t talk about yourself excessively. No one cares.

2. Don’t talk about them, if it’s something clearly personal.

3. Compliments are generally fine but use your brain. “Nice shoes” is fine, but “I like your eyes” is a little weird. “I like your shirt or pants” can cause a woman to get uncomfortable, as it’s assumed you are complimenting what is underneath them in some cases.

4. If politics, test the waters, as this can be a very decisively divisive topic, especially in a group of people, and especially in America.

5.Religion even more so.

6. Current events are usually fine.

7. Hypothetical events are even better.

8. Talking about people is fine, but don’t be a gossip.

9. Don’t complain or bitch, especially about your life.

10. A conversation should go both ways, and should be roughly equal.

11. Don’t stand directly facing them, better to stand next to but slightly facing them. This builds rapport and is less antagonistic.

12. Don’t look directly at them the entire time.

13. Don’t forget to blink.

14. Best opportunities for practice are in places where there are natural excuses for leaving, or cutoffs. On buses or waiting for them are good. Airports are excellent. You both know that at some point the conversation will end and there’s no pressure to make an excuse to leave.

15. Learn to read how a conversation is going and have a polite exit strategy.

16. Ask good questions about any stories they are telling; it shows you are following along and gives them an opportunity to tell the story in a different way.

17. Keep it as classy as the other person wants it to be.

18. Most people don’t like talking about their jobs. “What do you do” is going to be either boring or hated, but occasionally great.

19. Sex is rarely a good topic, but with the right people, it’s probably the best one.

20. Learn about a variety of topics, at least enough to be able to follow along and give your opinion if someone asks it.

21. It’s better to ask more specific than general questions. With the exception of as a greeting, “How are you?” as about as vapid as it gets.

22. Be honest. If you don’t know something, say you don’t know. If you don’t have an opinion, say you don’t have an opinion.

23. Be able to say the above without making it awkward; this usually involved transitioning or pivoting away from the topic.

24. Something is only awkward if you think it is; if you don’t give a fuck then they probably won’t get uncomfortable.

25. Practice the actual skill.

26. Usually the people who talk the most say the least; don’t be that person.